Hair Coup

What the hell is up with my hair?
We had a good thing going up there.
A symbiotic détente, but now you do what you want.
I don’t want to have to cut you but I will.
Maybe it’s just growing pains.
An awkward stage driving me insane,
But if you’re breaking this truce, I’m gonna stock up on mousse.
I can’t have a hairdo staging a power coup, no.
Everybody loves my hair, now.
All the stylists think it’s great.
You may be going grey, at least you’re not going away,
But you’re a strong willed beast,
An entity with sentience.
Come on back now.
We had a good thing.

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Shenanigangsters

Shenanigans are the currency of fun.
I’m the type who likes to take the money and run.
Scheming, machinations, shenanigans and chicanery.
Put them all together in a casserole, you get
Schemachinaniganery!
Shenanigangsters!
That’s what they call us on the street.
Shenanigangsters!
At least they should because that would be sweet.
Shenanigangsters!
We’re not too scary, we’re a lot of fun.
Shenanigangsters!
And we won’t kill you with a tommy gun.

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I Am A Sexy Robot

I am a sexy robot.
Advanced technology.
Model 69, top of the line.
There’s none as fine as me.
My software Kama Sutra and hardware accessories
Will give you pleasure at your leisure
Any time you please.
And if I blow a circuit,
My backups come online.
No viruses or malware,
Or unscheduled downtime.
My temperature’s adjustable.
I will not overheat.
My cold and metal robot parts
Are covered in man-meat.
I am a sexy robot.
I am a sexy robot.
I am a sexy robot.
Tell of this thing that you call love

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Song Without A Chorus

I’m gonna write a song without a chorus.
Some might call it an unconventional song.
I know I run the risk that it might bore us.
Because without a chorus it’s hard to sing along.
Now this is where the chorus could go,
But this is more like a bridge you know,
And if you don’t know, the lyrics just told you so.
You probably thought that bridge would keep on going.
And now you find that we’re here back in the verse.
I did it to challenge everything you know and
Also, all of my songs are very terse.

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We’re All Prince

Prince may gone from this corporeal plane but he would want us to remember that we are all Prince. In fact, this past video was very much Prince inspired.

If you like purple or paisley then you’re Prince
If other people call you crazy, then you’re Prince.
If your name was ever a symbol, then you’re Prince.
If you drink champagne from a thimble, then you’re Prince.
If you like to wear a thin mustache, eye liner and a silk sash,
If you like to do things your own way, and you don’t care what other people say,
If you want to be sexy with confidence, just look inside to your inner Prince.
He would tell us everything is gonna be just fine.
If we party like it’s 1999
If you like life a little bit funky, then you’re Prince.
I even met a Tibetan monk, he was also Prince.
So don’t be morose or somber about Prince.
You don’t have to be unbelievably legendary like he, you see.
He lives on in every one of you and me.
We’re all Prince.

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Sock Hophthalmologist

You should get yourself to the ophthalmologist.
You should really go and get your eyeball lookied at.
If you go to the sock hop you won’t get kissed
With your eye looking infected like that.

You want to take her to the dance,
But that thing on your eye needs to be lanced.
The girls say they have heard a rumor
That there is something wrong with your vitreous humor.

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Snuggletown

Snuggletown, Snuggletown,
Everybody get your friends and come on down.
Snuggletown, Snuggletown,
If you don’t want to go we will kill you.
Everybody wants to go to Snuggletown,
So if you don’t then you must be a pod person.
When you say you want to go to Snuggletown,
If you’re lying we will know and that’s worse and so, hey!
Snuggletown, Snuggletown,
A bed big enough for the whole populaiton.
Snuggletown, Snuggletown,
Spreading love and snuggles all across the nation!
No pod people allowed.

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Room Temperature

Hmm, this could have relevance to “Room Temperature Margaritas.

Room temperature.
Kind of depends on the room.
Room temperature.
It could be freezing or as hot as Mt. Doom.
So if you’re gonna talk temperature,
Talk in degrees,
If it’s Celsius you’ll have to convert it first, please.
But don’t say “room temperature” unless we’re in the same room.

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Breakfast All Day

From my 80s glam metal days in Band-dana. I was eventually kicked out for not wearing enough bandanas.

Breakfast all day,
Breakfast all night,
There is no time breakfast isn’t alright.
If you restrict breakfast to certain hours,
You’re a breakfast fascist,
Come on and fight the power.
If you stop serving breakfast at eleven o’clock,
You’re part of the problem,
Man, you do not rock.
If your breakfast items are always on the menu,
You are one of us because you know we love it when you serve
Breakfast all day.
Breakfast All night.

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4 Creepy Notes

4 creepy notes.
Here’s a chord that sounds ominous and sad, followed by 4 creepy notes.
Here’s a chord that sounds hopeful and glad, ruined by 4 creepy notes.
Each note on their own is perfectly fine,
But you will find when they combine,
In a chord or in a line,
They’re 4 creepy notes.
So eerie those 4 creepy notes.
Don’t worry about 4 creepy notes.
Just go to sleep.
4 creepy notes.

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